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Pawsitively Purrfect movies
I would like to take a minute to discuss some of the most purrrfect movies ever made. I’ve been purrrcrastinating this article fur quite a while, but I thought it […]
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The Overly Opinionated Cat
I don’t understand why the heck I’m here I mean I don’t even know what the heck my name is and on top of that where in the world […]
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Quaker Campus calls it quits, ends after 99 years
MOSES EDITOR OF THE WORLD After 99 years of existence, the Whittier College’s Quaker Campus newspaper has announced that it has finally decided to follow the national trend […]
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Bergie goes Doo Wop, WOOOOOOOOOOOP!
Johnny Maestro RIGHTEOUS DOO WOP DUDE “There was a desperate need for the refinement of love songs,” Professor of Political Science Frederic Bergerson said. Despite being one of Whittier’s most […]
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“Rock” becomes Rocktimus Prime
Tatamis Prime RULER OF THE FREE WORLD Eons ago, the forces of a great cosmic disturbance, the “Original Spark,” repulsed chunks of rock and elementary mass about the Universe. According […]
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Shortage of Instant Ramen Leads to Student Black Market
April Lotshaw STAFF WRITER The recent shortage of instant ramen noodles in both the Spot and nearby supermarkets in the Whittier area has reportedly led students to desperate measures. In […]
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FRIDAY THE SQUIRREL IS TAKEN HOSTAGE; INSANE TERRORISTS MAKE REASONABLE DEMANDS
Anonymous Troll FOR THE QC “My fellow Poets… our long scholastic nightmare has just begun.” With these words, spoken by Dear Leader Hisweiner, my heart dropped. The mysterious and frightening […]
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IDENTITY OF DUB-C CONFESSIONS IS REVEALED
By Hugo Guzman I’m currently on the run from both CamPo and the dreaded Varangian Society. If you’ve been following the recent investigations, you’ll know that the Varangian Society […]
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School Burns, Student Reacts
Ima Person THIS IS MY BYLINE The freshmen residence halls almost burned down yesterday. “I like chocolate cake,” Stauffer resident Frederick von Carpet said. “But I prefer ice cream.” The […]
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Campus Safety now issuing Poet Peeing Passes
April Lotshaw STAFF WRITER Yesterday at noon, a line of over fifty students extended across the campus center. Seems like a normal occurrence around lunch time, but these students weren’t […]
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College plans to build dog spa on ampitheater parking lot
April Lotshaw STAFF WRITER For the canine companions of professors, staff and students alike, Whittier College is about to become a more supportive and welcoming campus. The college will soon […]
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A tale of redemption from the other side of the peel
Tropicana Tastee QC BEVERAGE MANAGER I have always tried to look on the bright side of things; maintaining a sunny disposition towards life keeps away dreary thoughts and the otherwise […]
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Friday the Squirrel provides evidence: Illuminati confirmed
Thursday the Turtle CONSPIRACY ANALYST Many know Friday the Squirrel as the loveable former mascot and friendly resident of the archival section of the library. Others have seen him don […]
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Crime Log
Compiled by the usual suspects, provided by the Fluffy Bunny Crew Monday, March 30, 6:33 p.m. A student called Campus Safety to report a drunk guy who was passed out […]
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Time machine sends Poets back to the1920s
Derek Blankenship MANAGING EDITOR Fellow poets, the future of the world that we are destined to live in is indeed a troubling one. As we enter into adulthood we face […]
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